Decyfer Down - Fading

I hear this song on the radio and I have to blast it. It's not a whiny cry-ie blubbering song to God but rather a gut wretching plea and earnest request to be heard. I cry out to you God. I know you are listening. Help those around me suffering from addiction, divorce, depression, and any other form of pain. Lift them up I am begging. My soul is aching so please lift them up. Thank You! I truly love you all so very much. PEACE

Today reading Titus there is the age old debate of literal text and meaning versus progressive women got to work thinking. I do gravitate toward the other points being that we remain upright fighting addiction that is so subtle. It lies somewhere between 2 or 3 glasses of alcohol......sobriety is such a hot topic. Lord save me from what I've become. Strip me of self-righteousness.... listen to the song. PEACE

Homelessness

Ok, many of you know that Homelessness is a passion that I have researched for school only because it is near and dear to my heart. I remember a time the police were called because a dude was attacking me in a park. As soon as help arrived...thank goodness....they started to treat me in the back of the ambulance. As soon as I told them I didn't have an address they quit helping and the police actually took the cuffs of the guy who was doing the attacking. Insane! Today I went to a 'summit' on homelessness in Kansas City. There was a chief of police there applauding a few officers who went the extra mile with '1' homeless guy and were awarded the Top Cop Award by the President of the United States. Insane! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they went the extra mile. It's funny. Right now the minister at my church is in Africa trying to procure help for an entire village that is half way around the globe because he is called to do it. I think I might very well be called to help the homeless in Kansas City. The 'summit/conference' had a bunch of city council people there and judges and other 'important' people who can actually decide where funds go that are set aside or raised or where ever they come from to do what needs to be done. To tell you the truth.....I think there is money coming into KC and they are just trying to figure out how to make sure homeless people are not standing on the sidewalks where tourists are spending money. It's bad for business. I wanna help but I don't have a stomach for the red tape. Especially when they are treating the epidemic instead of each person. I guess I will keep listening to the stories I hear and reaching out. Thank God for Hillcrest for these people to have a real chance to make it. They are hopeless when they come to Hillcrest and desperate for their chance. Ok, not all of them are ready for the hard work but...most are ready and I am so lucky to be there encouraging them to make it. Lucky to celebrate with them. I need to write my story and I am getting closer to finding the words. I would write for others to have HOPE. Hope that they too can make it. HOPE for a better tomorrow. I know I really do love you all. Hoping I was able to show that to the people I came into contact with. PEACE.

Love

Happened into Colossians 3 today and it was well suited for the day. Just Love.

I should update you

Life is so amazing. I think sometimes I was a product of my environment and if that is the case then I am now a product of these environments. It's funny. New Environments.

This is where I came back to Christ and it was hardcore and real and full of God and baptism and seeking the lost and helping those who can't help themselves and communion ON A VERY FREQUENT basis. I really miss Pastor Willie telling it like it is...... NOT WATERED DOWN!

SET FREE YUCAIPA


Then before I left CALiForNiA I came into contact with SANDALS church through a friend named MAMBO and he told me I should check it out. I used to sleep off hangovers at MAMBO's house for years so I knew it was somewhere I should check out. Ends up now my daughter's (RUBY) dad drives the bus at their church. My best friend in CALI (RAVEN) goes there and they are just booming. Brothers and Sisters from Glenn's Club he used to ride with go there too now. They are really doing something there and being REAL, AUTHENTIC, and THERE.

SANDALS CHURCH

Apparently SANDALS churned out a Worship Leader named CARLOS WHITTAKER who has a been transplanted in Atlanta, GA. He actually recently resigned and is now going to do coaching session for other church planters-innovators-authenticationmakers-and-that-wasn't-even-a-word-type-stuff. And you can click on coaching and check it all out.

CARLOS

Now...that brings me to my church. My pastor doesn't like to be called pastor.... hee hee and Roy and his wife started Shoal Creek like 13 something years ago. Big on being authentic. Big on being sincere. Big on being REAL. Big on being all-kinds-of-things and DEEP people DEEP. REAL TOPICS FOR REAL LIFE. Really wish Pastor Willie would come visit.

SHOAL CREEK

These days the computer is such a network of fabulous people and ideas that they are almost all becoming the same. Scary. Authentic. Real. Unchurched.

Seems like these are catch phrases to lure people into church. I mean I get it. I really do. People won't come to church unless it is tastes good. And I don't mean the food. It has to have coffee. It has to have cool stuff on the walls. It can't look like the traditional steeple people church stain glassed trip. (BUT I DO LOVE STAINED GLASS)

BUT! I miss Set Free. It smelled bad in there sometimes. They let people sleep on the pews in the sanctuary that smelled bad. Like they had not had a shower for like.....ever. They were hungry and Set Free would open the doors and feed them. Somehow. Set Free would go.....go....go to the streets and find the lost. Do you have any idea where I'm going with this? They changed people from the inside out. These days I am around people who are pretty and smell good on the outside and look COOL but they ...... I have no idea. I don't really know what. But everyone is stepping to the beat of the same drum. Or maybe I am not involved enough.

BUT! I get to shape and mold duct taped kids into seekers of the lost to bring them to Christ in the 6th-7th grade girls. I am so blessed. Not waiting for nothing but jumping in with both feet to suit up and show up for CHRIST. (not even sure that made any sense at all)

And! We are going to do VBS for a group of immigrants in Kansas City Kansas. This is gonna be awesome.

MISSION ADALANTE

I THINK I AM GONNA GET SLEEVED. YEP. FULLY SLEEVED. DONORS OF HILLCREST BEWARE. I'm IN IT FOR THE LONG RUN.

INCREDIBLE

Don't tell me it can't be done. Don't tell me you doubt it. Don't tell me there is no way. And whatever you do......don't dare me to do ________. I will definitely take you up on the dare...even if you weren't serious about it anyway. It sucks. But that is how I am wired. Today at work we didn't have any internet and 2 of our lines were down. I went in the backyard after doing the unpluging of modems and removing of battery packs and waiting a few minutes and discovered that someone had tampered with the wiring coming into the building. THAT SUCKS! I called Time Warner (patiently) and let them know that this business class customer wanted someone out asap like now and yesterday and the day before that too. I am furious because there are people living in this facility where I work that are having to call into their jobs to check on their work schedules and now they have almost lost their jobs due to the phone being out of service.

Anyway, I have now been told that I have to spend time on myself. I really really really miss doing ceramics and miss my friend Ken who introduced me to the craft. I love watching the colors as they change from white to whatever the fire makes them into. I love it.

To have kiln shelves, a kiln, glazes, clay, tools, etc.....would amount to $$$$$$ big money.

NOT DYING

(Vail, CO)

Do not go gentle into this good night. Ok....Dylan Thomas said it and it sticks in my mind tonight. I actually had to google the phrase because it is stuck in my head. I guess according to Thomas and scholars/people-who-sit-in-pajamas-typing-info-into-their-webpage-blog-brain they say its about a guy who is about to face death without faith. Hummmm. Why in the heck would that be stuck in my head. Hold on a minute....give me a minute....be right back.

Nope I got nothing. Kind a like the rest of my day. I have this crap stuck in my head that I did not invite in and now it is collecting my thoughts and grinding them into a psychology equation. Go figure. Yep the pun is intended folks. I can not add all this up and come up with an answer. I have not been able to come up with an answer the whole time I have been at this job but I have learned some fine tuning of LOVE and knowing how to INTENTIONALLY incorporate it into others lives. It's that knowing I can not do on my own but GOD tells me where to put the pluses and minuses. Otherwise, I would be in a mess. It's funny. Glenn has told me before that I have a way of bringing it back to what is important......Love your neighbor as yourself. HE said it was the most important thing. So, can you do this for me? Can you do this for your neighbor/co-worker/you-know-that-person-who-sits-in-front-of-you-to-the-left-at-church-and-you-don't-even-know-their-name....yea that person? Can you intentionally love them? Can you purposefully and without manipulation love the holy crap out of them in a way that they will feel love. I don't mean feed their head and stoke their ego....but can you love them? Maybe you don't have someone that is standing out in your mind as someone who needs your love but I bet there is someone who grates on your nerves or makes you swear under your breath every time they do-the-thing-they-do-everyday-that-makes-you-want-to-spit.

On the lighter side.....my Dad withheld major news from me. A new wind has blown through California and he might be joining me in my time zone. I would be so very happy. I wanna coach him to realize that closer to me the better. So, everybody get on your knees and pray that he comes closer to me.

And this is an extra super cool extra thing that is extra special for this odd post. Glenn sent this to me as he is on his way to California though the rockies. Actually, I think he has the better job. Nah, it is such a sacrafice on his part and our apart to to away from each other. But, this is what he is looking at as I write my ramblings. It reminds me I need to get out and get physical excersize and lay off my mind so stinking much. Life is not this serious. Now then....how to translate that to someone who takes everything so very intensely.

For Real

Did you know I was a hard core drug addict? Did you know I have been to prison? Did you know I have been beaten until I was unconscious? Did you know I am almost a College graduate? Did you know I ran from everything in life that mattered? Do you know I am still paying the price? Did you know I am afraid of things? Did you know I am constantly reminding myself that I can rely on God? Did you know that everyone has the same freaking fears as you do? Did you know that you are not alone? Did you know? Did you know that whatever you are writing about or talking about or reading about or thinking about has already been thought about or written about or spoken about before? I wish you all could come to church with me here. This is the topic we are covering now.